My friend turned me on to this, and I have been listening to it all day.

Sadly, as we all know, reading youtube comments is a bad idea.

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Thatgirl: kill joy.

(thanks Carolyn)

I was shopping on etsy when I came across this description.

You know how it goes. . .Your dad buys bulk linen and attempts to dye it to 17th century, period-correct colors for the purpose of using it on his 17th century French hiking expeditions (seriously, look here).

I looked there, and I saw the picture and further description below.

This is from a recent weekend in Northern Michigan. Everything he wears is made by him or my mom or he buys from artisans who specialize in his era. Then he meets up with other like-minded individuals, and goes out camping using traditional supplies . . . He even smelts his own bullets.

You can’t make this up.  Visit her store.

I was reading about black holes on wikipedia the other day:

“A black hole is a theoretical region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, not even electromagnetic radiation (e.g. visible light), can escape its pull after having fallen past its event horizon. […] Black holes, as currently understood, are described by the general theory of relativity. This theory predicts that when a large enough amount of mass is present in a sufficiently small region of space, all paths through space are warped inwards towards the center of the volume, preventing all matter and radiation within it from escaping.”

Hmm, a large enough amount of mass in a sufficiently small region of space…

I think I’m on the cusp of understanding why people look slimmer when they wear black.

Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood 

1. Only former president to serve on the Supreme Court
2. Mustache
3. First and last president to allow his personal cows to graze the White House lawn
4. Trust-busting
5. Our largest president, 6′2 and over 300 pounds
6. Once was stuck in the White House bathtub (subsequently ordered an oversized version)
7. Nicknames of “Big Lub” and “Old Bill”
8. Converted White House stables into four car garage
9. Skull and Bones membership
10. Illicit affair with Mrs. Burns

Why I Don’t Love President Taft

I am not in favor of suffrage for women until I can be convinced that all the women desire it; and when they desire it I am in favor of giving it.

Nov. 2, 1909

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I’d like you to remember Matthew 7:26. “The foolish man who built his house upon the sand.”

Homer: [pointing a finger] And you remember … Matthew… 21:17.

Reverend Lovejoy: [confused] “And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?”

Homer: Yeah… Think about it.

1. Handkerchief

There hadn’t been a heat wave like this in over 8 years, the old farmer thought. The sun had barely risen over the barn, but  already there were beads of sweat on his brow. He pulled open the barn door, and took a handkerchief from his back pocket to mop his face.

It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the dark inside the barn. When he realized what he was looking at, he was unable to move from shock. The heat inside the barn was heavy and thick, saturating his clothes and skin. The handkerchief fell from his fingertips. He dropped it like it was hot.

2. Trousers

The young detective had never seen a case like this. A triple homicide, an underground crime ring, millions in smuggled drugs, with incest and bestiality to boot. And he had never seen a woman like this, like the one who stood before him now, in the dark, holding her cigarette just so, blowing smoke in his face, trapping him against the wall.

She traced a fingertip along his wrist and kissed him. For a second, the detective sensed danger. But before he could realize what was happening, his hat was askew, his necktie loosened, his belt undone, and his trousers had dropped to the floor. Dropped like it was hot. So, so sensuous,  and so, so hot.

3. Class

Tick. Tick. Tick. The lecture hall was packed with students, presumably ones with the same idea she had: fulfill two general education requirements with this one class, and get them over with. But she had to strain to hear the professor, and she found the subject - ethical considerations in intellectual property - tortuously dull.

It was a popular class for the wrong reason. Mid-way through the lecture, she decided that she’d rather take 2 classes if they were remotely more interesting than this one. She collected her things and squeezed past rows of seated students, back to her dorm room, to log into the registration system and drop this class. She would drop it like it was hot.

4. ‘H’

Eliza Doolittle had a habit of not pronouncing the ‘h’ at the beginnings of words and names. “In ‘artford, ‘ereford, and ‘ampshire, ‘urricanes ‘ardly hever ‘appen, ‘enry ‘iggins.” She dropped it like it was ‘ot.

5. Chicken Wing

The sign on the counter said, “5-Alarm chicken wings! Finish 5, and it’s on the house!”

Brad thought he could do it. He loved spice, added red pepper to everything.  Free chicken wings? Always a good thing. He signaled the bartender.

One and a half wings later, Brad’s tongue, mouth, and face were burning. He gulped at his beer. The area around him was littered with crumpled paper napkins. He had tried wiping his tongue on one, and when he found no relief, he ate the rest of the napkin.

He summoned the will to take another bite and picked up the wing. His fingers were tingling. The wings, if not for the spice, were pretty good. He inhaled, thinking the smell of good chicken might help. But the moment the spice hit his nostrils, he knew it was over. The half-eaten wing hit the paper plate, and he threw down his napkin and threw back the rest of his beer.  He dropped that like it was hot.

Epilogue

These days, when it’s cold out, I pick up these things that other people have dropped like it was hot, and I clutch them to myself for warmth. A sweat-stained hankie, the trousers of a fallen detective, an dull college course, a half-eaten chicken wing, the letter ‘h’.

“He proposed on a Valentine’s day, although he didn’t do it face to face, he did it in one of the little Valentine message bits in the paper. I think he had to pay for it by the word, because it just said ‘Lee love Dawn, marriage?’ which, you know I like, because it’s not often you get something that’s both romantic and thrifty.”

-Dawn, The Office (British)

Often people feel that they have to impress their date by spending a lot of money.  I feel strongly that you can just as easily impress someone by showing them your fiscal prowess through saving and well-planned spending.  Not sure how to do it?  I have just a few suggestions to get the ball rolling for you.

1.  If a gift of some type is necessary, use a coupon to purchase it. When your date expresses gratitude and seems pleased with the gift, offer a second copy of the coupon, so they might buy another if they like.
2. As a fun alternative activity, purchase some three-ply toilet paper, and invite your date over for an intimate evening at home. Together you can peel the toilet paper apart, such that you triple your supply of toilet paper into several single-ply rolls. Your date will surely be impressed with your economical sensibilities and will be eager to repeat this exercise with you another time.
3. Concerts are exciting and fun, but they are financially and metabolically expensive. Instead, place a variety of small items from around the house (paper clips, nails, popsicle sticks, light bulbs) atop a high shelf, and keep a broom handy. Invite your date to your home for a private musical show. Sit a fair distance from the shelf, and use the handle of the broom to slowly push the items off the shelf onto the floor. The unique clatter, clanging, and crashing is similar to many modern musical groups, and the view rivals many of the pyrotechnic visuals seen at concerts today. The best part about this experience is that no two shows will ever be the same - this is sure to be an exciting activity that can be enjoyed over the years together.
4. A fancy dinner at a high-end restaurant can be delicious and romantic, but a well-planned meal can be just as delightful but much more economical. Invite your date to meet you in front of a local bakery about five to ten minutes before it closes. Right as they begin to close up shop, head to the dumpster behind the establishment. When an employee brings out the day’s trash, request any food items that would have been thrown away. Often this will a reasonable quantity of hardly-stale baked goods - certainly much more than would be provided at such ultra-chic restaurants as mentioned above. Head to the local park where picnic tables are available, and savor your well-earned meal. Try to choose a table near a drinking fountain, to ensure an ample supply of beverages.

As you can see, with just a little foresight, you can have a wonderful time on a tight budget. Write in with your own suggestions!

A friend created this helpful guide in case you have any lingering doubts about how to vote this Tuesday.

“Forgiving yourself is the first step towards your next mistake.”